Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
