the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
