If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am one with the molecules
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
