we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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