I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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