oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you didnt know i had herpes?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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