he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
