plz talk dirty to me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
