i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
