brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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