So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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