I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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