Who did Billy Mays play for?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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