I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just puked most of my soul out..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
