The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
