I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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