what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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