hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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