Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
