im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
