I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
