Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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