he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
