i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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