OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
