Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
