i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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