Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize