i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
