finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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