he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
