what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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