Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
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I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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