my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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