Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i love accidental penises.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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