We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize