we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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