We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
ttyl tear gas
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
