It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You can't special order awesome
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
