At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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