FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
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Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
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Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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