I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
