Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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