I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
