ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Two words: nipple clamps
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