i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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