There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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