Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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