Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
