No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm like, not good at living.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
