yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
His nipple licking is glorious
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