I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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