I wish my penis had an off switch
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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