Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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