Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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