her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize