rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
