she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
