after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
