i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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